Certified Bigfoot, Expert at hiding from responsibilities.

Certified Bigfoot Expert at hiding from Responsibilities

This ain’t your average cryptid — this is Certified Bigfoot, the official mascot for professional procrastinators, master ghosters, and anyone who’s ever seen a responsibility coming and immediately ducked behind the nearest tree.

Featuring a smug, shushing Bigfoot caught mid-hide, complete with vintage-style gold metallic lettering and that perfect “I was never here” energy. Whether you’re dodging deadlines, group chats, or adulting in general — this design gets it.

Available Styles (Black Base Only)

T-Shirt

• 100% cotton for premium softness and breathability
• Available in Men’s cut and Women’s cut (place your order and I'll contact you asap so you can choose).
• High-quality direct-to-garment print that won’t crack or fade
• Perfect everyday wear for all your hot mess moments

Hoodie

• Unisex loose, comfy oversized fit (ideal for hiding in plain sight)
• Soft fleece interior for maximum cozy
• Durable print built to survive every side quest and nap
• Kangaroo pocket included for extra hiding spots

Whether you’re team “I was never here” or just proudly embracing your inner cryptid, this design is for anyone who’s been mythically avoiding responsibilities since forever.

Part of the Mythic Hot Mess Collection — where ancient legends and modern excuses collide.

Limited edition vibe. Infinite hiding potential.

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